Meningioma Tumor/Healing

Meningioma: One Month Post Op

It has been a month since I had my brain tumor removed. I feel better, my head is still squishy from fluid and my stitches are starting to disintegrate and the glue is coming off my hair, which I am pleased about as my head is starting to smooth out a little bit.

I still find it easy to overdue. I only just started driving three days ago.

Wednesday I had a meeting in town in the morning and a phone meeting in the afternoon, then a basketball game in the evening. It was too much even though my grandmother was here all day to help with the little people. There were two games, the boys and the girls, they were for the Southern Division of the Division our eldest played in this year. Both games were stressful because they were very close (the lead kept changing by a basket one way or the other) and I think the excitement got to me (Both our teams won). I was fine yesterday, but I was so tired by this morning, that I slept all morning on the couch while being pounced on by a small child until he snuggled in and fell asleep. Ugg, so exhausted this morning!

I have to be more careful in the future not to overbook myself!

We have had a meal train since we got home and it has been fabulous and such a blessing, we really appreciate the help and generosity of our community in our time of rest and recovery!

Thank you everyone!

 

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Meningioma Tumor/Healing

Meningioma: 17 Days Post Op

Overall I am feeling really good! I am getting some energy back and sleeping better at night which makes me feel better during the day.

I had my post op with Doctor Florman, my surgeon today. He was a little concerned that there is still fluid on top of my skull as this poses a greater risk of infection. As he described the surgery: they removed the tumor which was attached to part of my brain membrane. The membrane keeps the fluid inside the skull. They covered the hole in the membrane, but it is impossible to sew up all the tiny leaks, so it may always leak a little. If the fluid builds up too much it could be uncomfortable and need to be drained which they can do but they don’t like to do this as the hole from the needle can be a port for infection. I have been told to stay upright as much as possible and maybe even sleep on an incline again to prevent the fluid from building up. I don’t really want to sleep on an incline as I don’t sleep well that way so I will try to stay vertical during the day as much as possible.

He also said it is very likely the tumor will grow back because it is impossible to know if every single cell was removed, and it probably wasn’t, during surgery. I will be getting MRI’s at regular intervals, more frequently at first, then if there is minimal to no growth less frequently. My first one will be in two months.

He said I really shouldn’t be getting sweaty or lifting or bending over still because of the fluid build up, so I am still on “light duty”.

My mother left today to head back to Virginia. I don’t know what we would have done without her. She took the boys out every afternoon so I could have some quiet rest time. I think this time really aided in my recovery.

I am thrilled to report that I haven’t had a headache since the surgery. My eyes are improved a little, but they have regressed from the amazingness that was my eyesight right after surgery. I don’t know if that is because of the fluid build up or my eyes just going back to normal. I am still wearing my glasses which is a little disappointing.

I will leave you with the following quote:

“When you arise in the morning,

think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive –

to breath, to think, to enjoy, to love.”

Marcus Aurelius

 

I am certainly grateful to be alive, to watch my children grow and laugh, to hug my family and my friends a little tighter, to eat wonderful food prepared with love by friends and family, to feel the sun on my face and the crispness of the winter air – to breath, to think, to enjoy, to love…

Meningioma Tumor/Healing

12 Days Post Op

I feel amazing! Two hundred times better then I felt before surgery!

I want to clean the house from top to bottom!

I want to finish all the projects that I wasn’t capable of finishing before!

I want to cook amazing meals! (My cooking had deteriorated dramatically – it was horrible!)

I want to hike and skate and play!

And I am EXHAUSTED!

I feel like I should be able to do all of those things and tackle them in one fell swoop as I have not had any post op pain. Yet here I sit at 3am unable to sleep. I just finished my steroid treatments about 36 hours ago and I was hoping my sleep would start back into a regular pattern shortly. Apparently it is going to take longer then I would like.

My days have consisted of waking up in the middle of the night, usually around 2am, lying in the dark for an hour or so before I figure out I am not going to fall back to sleep right now, turning on the light, reading for quite some time and around 5am turning the light off again to rest my brain. Our little people have been waking up around 6 and coming to snuggle with me, they miss our evening snuggles and I am happy to cozy up with them until around 7 or so if they aren’t too restless.

We get up, have breakfast, I like to do school with #2 if I am up for it and the boys get dressed. Somedays I have enough energy to take a shower and change, somedays by 10am I just want to lie quietly on the couch and close my eyes.

#2 had a doctors appointment the other day, so we stopped at Target on the way home – wow – the visual over stimulation. I may not be visiting stores for awhile! I find any sort of fast movement or too much color, pattern, etc to make me very tired and confuse my eyes at the moment. This means that when the children start jumping about, making fast movements with their arms or body parts or any toys it wears me out. Poor kiddos. I feel badly about it.

My mother has been wonderful! I am grateful that she is so spry, capable and willing to help. She takes the children out somewhere everyday so I have time to rest and the boys can get some energy out. She will be here for another week – what will I do without her? What an amazing gift.

River and my mom have been keeping the kitchen clean and the laundry done. It has been so nice to hear them say, your job is to rest and heal right now, as I have been having a little trouble giving myself permission to let go of all the little things that I feel I should be doing.

Our community has been providing food for us everyday and that has been such a blessing. We haven’t had to worry about a meal plan or shopping. Thank you to everyone that has or is planning to contribute to meals – It has definitely aided in my healing process and given myself and the people taking care of me one less thing to worry about on a daily basis.

Meningioma Tumor/Healing

Rest: A Conundrum

There is a conundrum in this struggle for rest and healing with young children. How do I balance my need to heal, with the emotional needs of my little people. Our youngest two just want to stay home, too much out and about etc. and they are tired and the behavior is beginning to tell the tale. I need them to leave the house for a bit for some quiet time for me everyday so I can rest and not have any background noise, and they just want to be home, but are having trouble being quiet enough when they are home, even for a short time – coupled with them being sick before I went in the hospital, so a lack of outdoor time, (the freezing cold and ice is not a fun place to play with out snow) and being stuck in our small house is causing a bit of a wild rumpus at times!

I am having an overwhelming response to background noise etc. It is like sounds have gotten louder in my head since the operation. This is both good and bad. I thought I had some hearing loss in my right ear, but it appears it may have been partly a symptom of the tumor, I am hearing much better now. Good for me, bad for my little people.

My mother is here helping with the children so I can rest, the children are becoming a bit surely and a little rude to both of us as they struggle with the want to stay home with Mama and not understanding my need to rest so I can heal and be an even better version of myself when the healing is done. I feel badly that I can’t give them what they need so badly right now, a mama on call helping them navigate this time. We are having lots of good snuggles and reading time, but they are calling for a little bit more which seems to be beyond me at the moment.

There have been several positive sensory side effects to the tumors removal:

  1. I can see soooooo much better. I can stand at the bottom of the stairs and read the clock on the stove in the kitchen. This is huge, I was having to walk right up to it in order to see it without my glasses on. I can read small print and my phone without glasses too – so amazing!
  2. I can smell better – again both good and bath – perhaps when I am back to cooking this will be awesome. My cooking had really gone downhill, whether it was the lack of smell, or the muddled-ness of my brain I don’t know, but my cooking skills had taken a serious dive recently!
  3. I can hear better! This is good – but also a little hard to handle in my head. There is still extra fluid floating around in my head right now which I’m sure makes the background noises harder to deal with.

It has been a week since the tumor was removed and I am feeling good and pain free, but I tire very easily and any disagreements with the children are exhausting. I am trying to figure out a plan in my head for dealing with this in a better manner.